"British is an accent, not a language."
"Why is the turkey black, purple and green?"
"Dad, the turkey was sitting in the driveway because the bag ripped, of course it's gonna stink."
"I didn't jump off the roof, I did a cat hop. See, I landed on my feet, so if you're gonna yell at me, please be grammatically correct."
"You say shit, I say shite."
"The green panties with the ugly spots would be mine, so stop swinging them around."
"Take the toilet paper out of your stocking."
"No, you can't use my manic panic to dye the ferret blue."
"Whose Barbie heads are in the bathroom sink again?"
"Why did you hang your stockings with Barbie legs?"
"Spit out the katsup bottle."
"The trash can isn't a toy, get out of it."
"If you don't get your underwear off the bathroom floor, I'll hang it on the bush next to the front door."
"Take the fries out of the bathtub."